[Mike DeTorrice]

Scotland Yard Head Inspector Simon Templar issued this report at a news conference today in London :

I am distressed to report to you that last week's brazen takeover of a milk delivery van by a ruthless gang of kitty's remains unsolved with few leads to go on. Although the van itself was recovered yesterday and dusted for fingerprints, none were apparently found ......due, no doubt, to the fact that cats have paws and lack fingers. Sadly, this cost us several fruitless hours of work. A hairball, was recovered, however, although it's not clear what use this can provide us. The feline gang involved is also suspected of involvement in the daring daylight robbery last month at the National Catnip Factory in West Kensington.

Unfortunately, earlier this week, critical time was also lost when the investigation was sidetracked by an embarrassing language mis-communication resulting from an offical order issued to all investigators to : "Round up, question, and closely examine the motives of every pussy you know in your beat". I regret to say this poorly-worded edict led to un-intended results and a following of false scents that initially stalled the criminal inquiry. This has now been straightened out with our officers and the department as a whole.

Another break has hopefully come with this cell-phone picture which was submitted anonymously by a citizen and which appears to show the milk-van just after it was abandoned in front of an estate out in the countryside and after having all it's bottles drained of their contents at a secret location. In the picture, some of the feline members of this savage gang are still seen as they scamper away from the scene.

I ask for the help of the public in bringing this merciless kitty-cat syndicate to heel and in closing I say : I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "come then, let us go forward together with our united strength."


Mike (with apologies to W. Churchill)

[a-fordable]

Mike I have breaking news! the tikes were last seen in latest take over vehicles-










it is vital to app. these lads! Milk is essential:



fast update - they have solicited the aide of a BIG CAT- JAGUAR JIM!


http://[IMG]http://i1022.photobucket.com/albums/af346/nealford/gotmilk022.jpg





we will need the BIG DOG lot in this case! neal

[Mike DeTorrice]

LOL ! Clearly, the plot thickens even as the nefarious uses of these additional vehicles for the gang's evil purposes expands. We must be on the lookout for these pussycats !

Mike

[ibj40]

We're on the lookout, Chief!

[a-fordable]

I interviewed one suspect, who failed to speek- I guess the cat's got his tongue! jim that is a serious machine shown in your banner photo! carmudgeon!

[jinx]

"Another break has hopefully come with this cell-phone picture which was submitted anonymously by a citizen"

Unforunately, nobody in the UK understood what a cell-phone or citizen was - the mobile phones were all ablaze - "what the hell is he wittering on about? As a subject of the Queen, I demand an explanation."

Sorry Mike - divided by a common language & all that

[Mike DeTorrice]

ibj40, on 10 February 2010 - 07:52 PM, said:

We're on the lookout, Chief!
.......

a-fordable, on 11 February 2010 - 05:45 AM, said:

I interviewed one suspect, who failed to speek- I guess the cat's got his tongue! jim that is a serious machine shown in your banner photo! carmudgeon!

Ha ! Hmmmm, I'm not sure if the case is moving forward or backward. I guess we'll just have to check every pussy in the neighborhood for a milk mustache and then make arrests !

jinx, on 13 February 2010 - 09:41 AM, said:

"Another break has hopefully come with this cell-phone picture which was submitted anonymously by a citizen"

Unforunately, nobody in the UK understood what a cell-phone or citizen was - the mobile phones were all ablaze - "what the hell is he wittering on about? As a subject of the Queen, I demand an explanation."

Sorry Mike - divided by a common language & all that

LOL ! Busted and guilty as charged.

Mike

[ricallen]

Mike DeTorrice, on 13 February 2010 - 10:53 PM, said:

Ha ! Hmmmm, I'm not sure if the case is moving forward or backward. I guess we'll just have to check every pussy in the neighborhood for a milk mustache and then make arrests !

Are you accepting volunteers?

[ibj40]

a-fordable, on 11 February 2010 - 05:45 AM, said:

I interviewed one suspect, who failed to speek- I guess the cat's got his tongue! jim that is a serious machine shown in your banner photo! carmudgeon!

I had the good fortune, in my youth, to be close by Texas World Speedway when it opened, and got hooked up with Union 76 to man their pumps whenever the track was open (either publicly for a race event or privately for practice or testing). i was surprised when the Winged Warrior series of 1/18 scale classis Nascar racers came out that a picture of me putting fuel into one of the factory-backed Daytona Chargers would be the box art for that model.





By the way, that full report will be available shortly.