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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
> "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
> "Because I p*ssed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
> innocently.
> You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
> "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and
> it didn't move."
>
> One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
> son into bed.
> She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his
> voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
> The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
> "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
> A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
> "The big sissy."
>
> One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
> her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
to
> warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the
> farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
> The teacher paused then asked the class,
> "And what do you think that farmer said?"
> One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A
> talking chicken!'"
> The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
>
> A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
> Sugarbrown's daughter."
> Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
> The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
> "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
> She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
>
 
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